When Life Hurts (Part 3)

Losing loved ones. Eventually it happens. We may lose a parent, a sibling, a good friend or maybe our own child. I don't think this is something we can ever fully prepare for. When it does happen, yes, it will hurt. There is no other pain like it. Learning to live without someone close to us, does not come naturally.

1 Thessalonians 4:13-14 - But I would not have you to be ignorant, brethren, concerning them which are asleep, that ye sorrow not, even as others which have no hope. For if we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so them also which sleep in Jesus will God bring with him.

This is a common verse that believers often use to comfort others. It is true, we do not have to grieve as though we will never see each other again. A time will come when we will be reunited. Knowing this has been very comforting to me. However, that does not change the fact that in the mean time we will  miss them. It does not mean I won't be devastated. It will still hurt. I won't always understand why.

Getting through the grief of death isn't automatic. We won't all handle it the same way. Again, we need to be patient with others as they go through this sort of pain. Love and compassion is always the best thing we can give anyone.

I appreciate those who are honest about how they are doing.

Concerning my views on my own loss today, is much different than it was at one time. There was a time I didn't see any reason why I had to go through losing two of my sons. The verse in Romans that talks about all things working out for good didn't have room in my situation, I thought.

My perspective has completely changed. I think it is because I see a deeper meaning to Matthew 6:33. 'But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.' Our goal needs to be to seek the Kingdom of God. Life here is short for all of us , compared to eternity. Those who have moved on in Christ have finished the race and reached their goal.

1 Thessalonians 4:13-14 has become real to me. Not only that, but my experiences are an opportunity to advance the kingdom of God. Doors have opened to help others that could only open with experience. I did not know I could write until after I loss my first born son. God was reshaping my own heart while I had a broken heart. He had a purpose for my life that He wanted me to discover. Discovering His purpose bit by bit has brought me incredible joy!

I now completely trust that it all worked out for my good.

As for what the future may hold and the goodbyes I may yet have to face, God will have to carry me through the parts of the journey where I am not able to walk. He will have to strengthen me one step at a time. All I know is I want to keep walking this journey with HIM.

We live in a broken, fallen world. We can not get away from death but God isn't out to hurt us. He will however help us through it if we let him.

Lord, never allow any pain to build a wall between you and me. Let it instead, take me to a deeper level with YOU! May anyone who is reading this and hurting right now, find comfort, joy and purpose in You, Lord. Amen.

Psalms 34:18 - The LORD [is] nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit.

Revelation 21:4 - And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away.

John 16:22 - And ye now therefore have sorrow: but I will see you again, and your heart shall rejoice, and your joy no man taketh from you.

John 14:27 - Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.

Hope During Heartache

I recently had the privilege of contributing my story off loss in a book by Cheri Swalwell.

I look forward to reading the whole book, which she will be sending me in the near future.  If you are interested in purchasing the book , you will find it on Amazon.

A post from Cheri's blog:

Have you ever dealt with the pain of infertility? Heard the devastating words, “I’m so sorry but your child is no longer alive?” Lived with a heartache so deep it feels as though there will never be any relief?

 

By answering yes to any of these questions, you know how it feels to belong to an exclusive club. This group is designated for men and women who have had to learn how to live with the pain of either the lost dream of a child through infertility or the crushing reality that a child you love is no longer with you – the result of miscarriage, stillbirth, or death. It’s a group to which no one wants to belong, but nevertheless, the list of members of this group is long.

 

If you find yourself enrolled in this membership, know that you aren’t alone. There are many who have walked this road that are waiting to come alongside and help. Just as the picture on the cover shows the reality of a fierce storm with the hope of bright skies, there is Hope for the storm you are currently facing as well.

 

Step inside this book to hear from twelve different men and women, through their own words, how they were able to find hope during their heartache. Let them offer you a chance to experience that hope for yourself.

 




 

Available at:  Amazon – amzn.to/1sKLduh

(Paperback and eBook)

 $13.97 for paperback

$4.97 for Kindle

When Life Hurts (Part 2)

Abuse. Humans can be cruel and things can happen that are hard to forgive. Sometimes life may hurt because of abuse in our lives or abuse from the past. There are things that might be more complicated than the hurts I talked about in my last post .

I believe we can be healed by the power of God. I also think this may take time and help from others who are walking in the faith. If you have not experienced abuse, don't be too quick to judge those who have. Maybe they are more sensitive and do need more help and attention. Loving encouragement can go a long way.

The word of God is what it is though, and we can't disregard it. God knew that forgiving others would be for our own good no matter what. This doesn't mean we should just allow continuous abuse. Every situation is different and in no way can I determine what is right for others. I do think that if this is the case, talk to another believer who can help. There are situations we do need to remove ourselves from.

Forgiving doesn't mean we have to become best friends with the person we are forgiving. It just means we let go and let God. Let God deal with the one who has done us harm and even pray for this person.

Jesus set a good example of this.

And when they came to the place that is called The Skull, there they crucified him, and the criminals, one on his right and one on his left. 34 And Jesus said, "Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do." Luke 23:33-34

This was abuse. He was beaten, spit on, and nailed to the cross. During this time, He spoke the words, "forgive them Father".

Forgiving also does not mean we keep secrets for an abuser and hide a criminal. There are things that need to come to light. In some cases you might not be the only victim. Pray for wisdom and seek counselling from others who believe in God's word,  if you feel like you can't find the right way to handle it.

Eventually all things come to light.

"For nothing is secret, that shall not be made manifest; neither any thing hid, that shall not be known and come abroad." Luke 8.17

There were things that happened in my life that I wish hadn't happen. I would say I have experienced some forms of abuse. There were circumstances around me that could have put me in a much worse position. I was, however, protected  from a lot. I do not have the experiences of abuse that many have had. Therefore, I cannot say what I would do if... I am still in the process of learning things everyday and do not have all the answers. All I can do is encourage everyone to not give up and seek God for answers and help.

I have  talked with others who have had extreme abuse in their lives. Hearing these stories has touched my heart. They also made me realize more, to never be to quick to judge or dismiss anyone from our lives.

A few years ago, I heard a very sad but amazing testimony by a woman from Africa. She was sold by her father when she was just a child to be a wife to an adult man. She was raped and abused by this man for years. I won't go into all the details but you can already imagine the horror of it.

God did set her free from the situation. She and her children escaped and last I heard are doing well. I believe she was able to move on because she trusted God and left the past in His hands. The memories will always be there but that didn't hold her down and ruin her life.

With time comes healing if we allow God to do the healing. Believe in the power of God to heal all your wounds.

When Life Hurts (Part 1)

Are there things in your life that hurt? People who hurt you? Disappointments? Regret?

When I look around at things going on all over the world,  I think I have no right to complain about anything. There are people suffering. People who are persecuted. Those who are homeless and dying of hunger. I have it so good and have not had these experiences to the point many have. Yet, there are times when life just hurts.

I am going to talk about five kinds of hurt over the next few weeks. Originally I had planned to do this in one post. I quickly realized this subject is way to broad. God taught me some things in this area, but there are many answers I still do not have and there is much I have yet to learn. I will, however, share what is on my heart this far on the subject.

I'll start with the area that I think is really the least complicated.

 Hurt feelings.  Feelings can be a tricky thing. When it is our feelings that are hurt because of what others do to us, the thing we always have to do is be quick to forgive.

Maybe someone just ignored us one day as we pass them in the grocery store.  Let's not get overly sensitive. This sort of stuff really doesn't bother me anymore. If I think you are ignoring me... BEWARE! I will hunt you down and talk to you in every isle. :D

Sometimes friends don't meet a need or they are not there for us the way we think they should be.  Often the problem is that our focus is more on our own needs than the needs of others.  Instead of thinking what should they be doing for me, we need to ask ourselves what could I do for them? Taking the focus off of "I" helps. Only Jesus is that perfect friend that will meet ALL our needs.

Has anyone ever gossiped about you in a very unkind way or spread outright lies. This can be very hurtful and not always easy to get over.  YET, forgiveness remains to be the answer.  Forgiving does not excuse the other party's actions, but it frees us.

One thing I have learned over the years is  you take a risk when you open yourself up to others. When we share our triumphs through Christ and also the battle within, we risk  rejection, criticism and being misunderstood. I have had times when this did happen and to be honest closed myself off from taking more risks. I do sometimes want to shut down.
Ultimately, I cannot  shut down or shut others out,  AND have peace at the same time. We need to follow God's calling for us and continue on. If we don't,  we rob ourselves, others and God. We will then risk not helping that one person that may have needed exactly what we had to give but were too afraid to. The risk of becoming too self absorbed to realize the needs of others. And the risk of being at a stand still, not learning from others or our own mistakes. May God help us all out of our comfort zones and be who he created us to be. Reach out with the tools and gifts he gave you.

When you are hurt by someone else's words or actions, fill your hearts and minds with the word of God. It can heal all wounds.

Ephesians 4:322 - And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.

Mark 11:255 - And when ye stand praying, forgive, if ye have ought against any: that your Father also which is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses.

Matthew Chapter 18:21,22 Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times? Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven.

May God give us the grace to represent the forgiveness of Jesus well.

 

 

 

Breathing Prayers

As I'm driving along, it came to me I needed to pray for someone  right away. I began praying  all the way to his house. I prayed that God would free this person from Satan's chains and be filled by the Holy Spirit. I asked God to wrap His  arms around him and protect him. When I got to his house, I prayed over him.

Suddenly it hit me, there isn't a doubt in my mind God had heard and would answer.

Now I know why God allowed me to experience so many painful trials. I knew pain and when I see others so lost and in pain , I feel it with them. Their hurt becomes my hurt and this causes me to pray more passionately.

Often it would be easier not to care but I asked for this. I asked God to dig deeper in my heart and make me more like Him. God knows our pain. He felt it through Jesus while He was on earth.  His love and compassion is deeper than we are able to comprehend.  He was giving me a bigger vision of this.

I had talked to God since I was a little girl. Through the years He kept taking me deeper. There were times it seemed I was far from Him, but then He picked me up and took me to the next level of faith.

For the past few months, it seems like I have been breathing prayers. Without prayer I cannot breath. There are too many things to learn from God, to talk to Him about, to praise Him for and to cry on His shoulder about, to stop praying. There are too many people who need us!

As I pray, I see more and more work that needs to be done.  I cannot waste time.

We need to get on it. We need to reach out.  We need to share the good news with the LOVE He fills us with as we ask.  Love is the key that opens all doors. Pride and selfishness will slam it shut.

I am taking all my experiences and letting God use them where He wishes. I do not look  back and feel bad for myself because I had a Heavenly Father who got me through it.

I CAN do all things through Christ who strengthens me!

Yes, Lord , You may keep taking me deeper. You know my heart. You know each person I have prayed for according to your will.  You have promised to answer, and I know you will. Amen.

Walking on Water

Ever feel like Peter who  attempted walking on water and sank?  I think we can all relate somewhere along the way. Maybe that is the reason this story of Peter was added to the scriptures. God knows us and knew we would sometimes feel like we are drowning!

Jesus is reaching out his hand and wants to pull us up  . The question now is will we take His hand or just keep trying to save ourselves?  If we are in the middle of an ocean , how long can we really continue on our own? Perhaps we are so busy trying to save ourselves, (or helping ourselves) we don't even see that He is there, ready to help.

We drown ourselves with temporary things and miss out on a deeper, supernatural walk with God.

I am at this very moment reaching for his hand and believe it is possible to walk on water!

Lord,  take us all to a deeper level with you!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And the sea arose by reason of a great wind that blew. So when they had rowed about five and twenty or thirty furlongs, they see Jesus walking on the sea, and drawing nigh unto the ship: and they were afraid. But he saith unto them, It is I; be not afraid.

John 6:18-20

And Jesus said  unto them, Because of your unbelief: for verily I say  unto you, If ye havefaith as a grain of mustard seed, ye shall say  unto this mountain, Removehence to yonder place; and it shall remove ; and nothing shall be impossible  unto you.

Matthew 17:20

 

This Journey Continues

It has been a long time since I have posted here! I won't apologize for something I just have not had time for, but will say I do want to start posting again.

One reason I didn't have time was because with the way my computer was working it was a hassle to try to post and that in itself was a waste of time! I am happy to report, that problem has been solved!

In my last post I shared about our healthy baby boy God had blessed us with. That little boy turned twelve years old this year. God also blessed us with three daughters since then. All healthy and doing well.

This June it will be eighteen years since we loss our first-born. We now have a seventeen year old in our home, and our youngest is now two.

 

God is good.  He has provided our needs. He has challenged me to new levels. He has been my strength when in myself I had none. His love has been unconditional.

Psalm 36:5 -7 - Your love, O LORD, reaches to the heavens, your faithfulness to the skies.

Your righteousness is like the mighty mountains, your justice like the great deep. O LORD, you preserve both man and beast.

How priceless is your unfailing love! Both high and low among men find refuge in the shadow of your wings.”